Saturday 22 March 2008

I had another episode yesterday. I was dealing with several symptoms of hypoglycemia all at once. I just don’t understand why it never shows up on blood tests. It got so bad last night that Robert went to Wal-Mart to buy a home glucometer for me. I’m going to start testing when I’m having problems. Maybe then, by keeping a log, I can be diagnosed. That way they’ll finally get me on the proper track. I’ve been chasing this since 2005. It’s ridiculous. Unfortunately, most of the symptoms had subsided by the time Robert got home, so I’ll have to wait until next time to start testing.

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I think we’re nearly done with the Master Closet. We just have to make our plans and write the shopping list. I wanna be done already!

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Remember those neighbors I was complaining about before? They did it again. In fact, they’re still at it, and it’s five o’clock in the morning.

Saturday 15 March 2008

I want to sleep. I really, really do. Unfortunately, a set of neighbors are yelling at each other, because they’re drunk. Again. The aren’t even in the same building as we are, yet they talk so loud we can almost understand their conversations. I want to take this to management, but we have enough issues around here already. I don’t want to bug management so much that they don’t respond to us or stop taking us seriously. I don’t blame my insomnia on the neighbors, but they sure do make it that much harder to sleep at night. Why can’t everyone come home and make all their noise at the dinner hour when I can turn the television up to cover the noise?

And now they sound like they’re trying to kill each other. They’re making me crazy!

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I’m not feeling so mad now. I just cannot stand rowdy neighbors. I can’t sleep through noise that loud, and drunks make me nervous. It all makes me consider giving up alcohol myself, and all I ever have is a bottle of red wine split over multiple days, usually shared with Robert, less than once every three months. I just can NOT see the fun in getting trashed. If you don’t want to remember your life, then sleep through it or play couch potato. Quit keeping me up at night. I HAVE a life.

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Robert and I plan to go into the city today. We want to go to the Jefferson Memorial and the FDR Memorial. Robert hasn’t been to either since a business trip (from Leesville to here) in 2003, and I’ve never been. We’re not really sure what else we want to do, but I’m always up for visiting Mr. Lincoln (Memorial). It’s a very comfortable area for me. If only the restrooms were cleaner.

One of these days I just want to go walking in the city. Granted, if the rest of the city is as hilly as the Smithsonian Zoo is, I may have to take a folding chair with me!

Robert’s told me that there is a small pay aquarium in the city. I adore going to aquariums, but driving to Baltimore and paying over $40 just for admission for the two of us is a bit steep, even though they do have rays. I’m hoping that the small DC aquarium is a closer, less expensive option.

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I am so tired of dealing with migraines. I’ve had them so frequently lately that I’m learning how to work when I have them.

I’m not sure why, but two or three times every year I have to see the doctor to get super strength migraine medicine. I think it’s coming time for my first migraine visit this year. There are times when touching my face isn’t an option because it’s so bad.

Yet, my migraines are tricky. They often start as a tension headache, are occasionally double sided, make it harder to breathe, and make me hot, even in a cold room.

I fancy that getting some fresh air would help, but I’m not subjecting myself to the wrath of Drunken Neighbor 11??. I’ll find out their address soon so I can give them a proper name. We have Former Spanish Porch (which with the new residents is beginning to become Trash Porch), Former Doggie Doody Porch (they left their dogs on the porch even in the snow and took them for ONE walk in months, the dogs pooped on the porch obviously, we called animal control on them and then they were evicted, the manager said the inside was almost as bad as the porch), Original But Not So Bad Party Porch, Party Porch 1114, Party Porch I Hope They Don’t Have Guns Because They Frighten Me, and Party Porch 11?? (same as Drunken Neighbor 11??). When we lived at L, we had Bird Lady (birds weren’t allowed, she continually paid $200 for new birds and then released them when she was caught), MY CAR!, and several different neighbors all basically referred to as Dangerous, We Need To Get Home Before Dark, I Don’t Like Being Home Alone, Lock The Doors, and my favorite, Is That A Gun Or Drugs? Trust me, I am very happy to live here.

Goodness I deviate sometimes. I hate taking medicine for migraines, because I almost always have a headache. It’s less common to find me without a headache than with one.

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Robert and I are slowly reorganizing the Master Closet. There are just a few problems coming up.

The bath linens are being moved onto a decorative bookshelf in the bedroom. Some of my items are going to be condensed into my dresser. We bought purple hangers to diving sections (our regular hangers are white). We’ve put a changing chair on the back wall. Almost everything is set, except...

I want a shelf to ‘connect’ our two shelves at the back of the closet so we can put bed linens across the back wall. If our shelves aren’t hung at the same height exactly, the connecting shelf wouldn’t be level. That would drive me batty.

I want to print and laminate (or slip into a sheet protector) signs to separate my side of the closet. They would hang from the purple hangers, maybe using clothespins. However, I’m reluctant to try and therefore stalling.

I just can’t figure out what all I want to go in there, so coming up with an arrangement is touchy at best right now.

I need to donate a pair of heels, because they hurt my feet. I can’t seem to bring myself to do it though, since they’re patent leather (shiny!). That’s not a major problem, I know, but I’ve been arguing with myself for a couple months now:
A: “I don’t wear these shoes.”
B: “They’re patent leather.”
A: “They hurt my feet.”
B: “They’re shiny.”
A: “I don’t get any use out of them.”
B: “Shiny.”
A: “They’re wasting space.”
B: “Shiny!”
A: “Fine! You win! (For now.)”
B: “Shiny. Happy...”

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I’m reading Wuthering Heights for the first time in years. I love remembering how I read it the first time in the Summer after fifth grade. I fell in love with it then, and many other classics, especially Dracula, not many years later.

I started reading all of my favorite books every Summer, between school years. I kept at it through most of high school. I lost it at that point, but it’s quite refreshing to read some of these again.

I recently finished with Jane Eyre, am currently occupied with Wuthering Heights, and I plan to advance to several Jane Austen books. Yet I wonder if I shouldn’t make a break in between for Dracula and War of the Spider Queen. I miss them both acutely. I shall see.

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I’ve determined that I’m not going to let the heat get to me this year. I’m simply going to ignore it, aside from turning on a fan or drinking ice tea/water. I’m too heat sensitive, and I need to change that. You wouldn’t know I grew up in Mississippi and Louisiana if you saw me in the heat. My comfort range is in the fifties and sixties, which means I prefer Autumn and Spring naturally. (Well, Autumn and Spring in Virginia-speak. More like Winter in Louisiana language.)

The year Robert and I moved from Louisiana to Virginia (2004), it was 92 degrees on Halloween. For all the heat tolerance I’ve got, you’d never know I was raised a Southerner. I’d do better in North Dakota (my beautiful North Dakota). Of course, I’d do better to drink less coffee in the Summer. We all know that’s not going to happen, though.

I’ve actually dealt with a few problems by intentionally ignoring them. It’s one of the only ways I got my anxiety to lessen in the end. It’s gotten me up and moving by ignoring the lazies. I’ve even trained myself to eat breakfast by learning to ignore the morning nausea.

I’m very careful about which problems I use ‘ignoring’ as a solution, though. I’ll try to ignore the heat, but I won’t let myself have a heat stroke. I just want to up my heat tolerance a into the eighties. I know to do so slowly.

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Mae’n chwarter wedi pedwar. It’s a quarter after four. I suppose I have to stay awake to reset my schedule. Between insomnia, migraines, and rowdy drunken neighbors, I have to pull this stunt at least once every other month. I get to wondering what it’s like to be awake during the day sometimes.

I wish I knew how to fall asleep without working at it or being completely exhausted. The discipline of getting to bed is not usually the problem. Almost anything can keep me awake: A single thought, a racing mind, too hot, too cold, pain in my right shoulder, headache/migraine, my little spirit friends, a tiny bladder, flat or overstuffed pillows, a messy/cluttered room, an itch, a strong urge to do something or another, a sheet sitting slightly wrong, and anything laying on my ribs have all kept me awake, and there are so many more. I generally fall into bed and pass out once I’m completely exhausted to the point where breathing is even difficult.

I can’t take sleeping pills often at all. I’m extremely medication sensitive. One sleeping pill might not put me to sleep at all, or it may keep me from being able to drag myself out of bed for three days afterward.

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Robert and I won’t make it into the city today. The migraine is just too much for me to go very far today. I did get to sleep eventually, somewhere around 5:00a.m.

I guess I don’t mind too much, other than the pain. Since we’re staying home, we opened the windows. The cats are thoroughly enjoying themselves and are currently occupied by a bird that chose to land on the window frame.

Thursday 13 March 2008

I just got home from the dentist a few minutes ago. There were no problems filling the three cavities, and we finally understand what onlays are now: They’re partial crowns, and they don’t require root canals. I’m feeling a lot better about getting them done now, whether or not we have to pay for them completely. That would just take more time.

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Robert and I went to a TNR (Trap-Neuter-Return) workshop hosted by Alley Cat Allies last night. I’ve learned a lot about TNR from my friends. I did lean a couple of things I hadn’t heard (read) before, and it was nice for the rest to be reinforced to memory.

We’ve both filled out volunteer applications, though I can’t volunteer when Robert can’t, due to having one car and a bad sense of direction. (Well, it’s not supposed to sound funny...) Anyway, we’ve finally started the ball rolling on volunteering, even if “finally” is nine months before I’d planned. Oh well!

Tuesday 11 March 2008

I’ve decided I’m not going to work while I’m in school. I wouldn’t be able to promise P I could work a full year before I might have to quit due to the mandatory internship. I just don’t see how I could responsibly try to do both, so I’m not going to apply. I wouldn’t want to ruin my chances of working there after I graduate.

Since I won’t be working, I won’t need a car. I wouldn’t be able to afford one without working, anyhow. It’s just all a little easier on everyone – except for Robert, when he has to walk to work in bad weather.

I’m going to have about twenty extra hours a week if I’m not working. I’m going to fill that time with extra studying time for school, time for Welsh and religious studies, exercise, and keeping up with the house. If I have time, I’m going to go on litter walks. I obviously have to purchase a trash picker, first. I’m hoping to start volunteering with FC, a cat rescue, after my first semester. I want to make sure I CAN volunteer that time before I do. I’m also considering volunteering with ACA. It will depend on what would work out best.

I’m still considering other changes that I want to make this year.

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Friday, I went three miles on the exercise bicycle in eleven minutes and seventeen seconds. Since my goal was to do it in twelve minutes, I marked the goal complete. That was at a resistance of one. My next goal is to do the same at a resistance of two. I should have known to get an exercise bicycle from the start – I’ve always loved riding bicycles.

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Spring must be coming full force around the corner, or my senses are off. I’ve been wanting to play tennis and go swimming for over a week now. I don’t like waiting.

This is actually quite odd for me. I’m usually trying to rush in Autumn so I can curl up with a book. Now I’m rushing in Spring so I can exercise? I really have changed in the past year or so.

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I have an appointment set for Thursday to get three teeth filled. After that, I still have three onlays to get done. That is, if Dr. L can reasonably explain everything. If he can’t, then it looks like it will be three crowns. (Three crowns means three root canals. Ouch!) And I still have to remember to return the x-rays.

Wednesday 05 March 2008

I had an appointment with Dr. W this morning, but she called in sick. That’s the first time in memory this has happened to me. It’s just one more reason to love Dr. W, because she’s responsible enough to call in sick when she should. That immediately puts her above most doctors I’ve known. I know have an appointment set for Friday.

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I’m considering giving up cola completely. (I can see myself ten years ago, balking at the idea of it. Mainly because I did.) I’ve quit buying soda to drink at home, and I’m happier this way. I feel better physically.

I’ve noticed that I get hiccoughs every time I drink cola now. I know that cutting soda out completely is going to be a big job for me, if I decide to do it. I’m not trying to quit ingesting caffiene. I’m not concerned about that right now (and decaf coffee is disgusting). I’m just trying to make healther choices.

I know what I’ll have to do if I decide to undertake this, I think. The first step would be to quit purchasing cola when we eat out, at fast food joints and sit down restaurants. After I’d done that successfully for a while, I’d have to quit buying cola to drink when we go on drives. The final step would be to quit purchasing soda at any other time, like out on a walk.

I would have to replace cola with other beverages. I know I love coffee, and I can drink water as long as it’s not hot. I also love tea and milk. I think I have a few options.

I’m still a little reluctant to the idea, but now that there’s a workable plan, I’m more likely to do it. We’ll see...

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With all of the dental goofs going on, Robert and I decided to get my regular fillings done before dealing with the onlays. He made an appointment for me for Thursday, the thirteeth, to get my three cavities filled (teeth numbers eight, nine, and thirty). Since my last appointment was used for a filling, instead of an onlay, this appointment will complete my fillings. While we’re there, we’re going to discuss the onlays with Dr. Lee. We both want to know several things. Why is he suggesting onlays as opposed to root canals and crowns? What are the benefits and problems with each? Why does “medical necessity” need to be proven for insurance to pay for onlays? I want to do some more online research before we go. Also, I really need to take that x-ray back this time.

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Robert and I decided not to move in 2010 like we had planned. I know that from an outside perspective that it looks like we’re indecisive, but that’s hardly the case. We’re constantly reevaluating our situation, and there are certain things that we prioritize highly in our consideration. How much have the cats been fighting recently? What are our current financial priorities? When do we want to have children? Is the neighborhood safe? What are our big goals? Is this apartment or community more of a help or a hurdle? Are either of us staying depressed just from living here? There are so many questions.

For the record, the cats aren’t fighting much at all now that we moved the computer armoire into the Office. Our current financial priorities are paying off our debt, and saving for a car for me, and getting my teeth fixed. We hope to start saving more soon, as well. We’re currently not planning on having children at least until I’m a veterinary technician. This neighborhood is mostly safe, if a little noisy at times. There are currently too many big goals to list. We both adore the apartment and (for the most part) the community.

So, we’re going to be here a while. Yay! Because this is the first place I’ve really felt settled in since we lived in Nesbit (Mississippi). I still need to learn how to drive to the metro station, though.



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I’ve written away a good portion of the morning again. Mae’n chwarter i ddeg. It’s a quarter to ten. I suspect I love pen and paper more than I realize, which is why I can, at times, be found doodling Welsh or nonsense phrases just to feel pen move across paper.

I wish there was a way to put my love to good use, but it’s my belief that I’m not a good formal or technical writer. Nor do I fee that I’m very good at getting my thoughts across accurately. If I could figure those problems out, I would be very happy. I love writing for any reason. I would love the ability and opportunity to do more, in more styles.

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I’ve decided to quit titling the different sections of my journal/blog and just put a separator in between. I thought I had it yesterday with a purple graphic I made in Paint, but inserting that many pictures majorly increases the amount of time it takes for me to post everything online. I’d like to use some sort of typed symbol, but I’m having a difficult time figuring that out.



Don’t get me wrong, I would love to include more pictures, and I plan on trying. The separators are just not working, and they’re too time consuming. I think I’m stuck right now.

Update Thursday 06 March 2008: I’m going to use the plus symbols unless I can find something that I like better. That’s doubtful.

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I still have a large amount of laundry to tackle, due to reorganizing the Master Closet. I need to make laundry a priority today. I also need to type yesterday’s journal and note pages. It seems I have several large things to tackle: rework my Home Manual (Fly Lady calls it a Control Journal, but mine’s not exactly the same), work on steps to get into school, grocery shopping (Robert and I decided to go three weeks meatless followed by one week of meat meals as a general cycle), back up our pictures, work on those long term plans, reorganize the Master Closet, straighten the other rooms, and discuss finances. I love busy days (but this won’t be one if I don’t get started). I have my priorities in place, so I’m off. (I really need to start planning for tomorrow’s tasks instead of today’s.)

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I’m still getting the shakes since I started the magnesium supplements. The only other thing coming up in an online search is hypoglycemia, my original suspect. I’m bringing this up with Dr. W on Friday. I shouldn’t be shaking so badly that I can barely sit up, let alone stand.

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I don’t know if I’m going to keep crocheting. I enjoy simple crochet, but I don’t need three million mittens or hats just for me. I might continue making throws or something, but I’m just not sure. I don’t feel like my stuff comes out that well, anyway. Maybe if I had a better excuse to crochet. I just don’t know.

Tuesday 04 March 2008

Mae’n naw munud wedi wyth, or, it’s nine minutes after eight. I’m still in bed, because I have another headache. I had a migraine on Saturday that was still mostly a migraine on Sunday. It eased down to a light headache yesterday, but it’s worse again today. I’m not sure why I’m getting so many headaches and migraines recently, but I need to find a good way to stop them. I don’t like popping pain pills every six hours.

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I was looking at cheap desks at Wal-Mart online a day or two ago, and I found two that I like under one hundred dollars. I think they’re both by Sauder. I also found a purple task chair that I like. I originally thought it was too much purple, even for me, but it grew on me. Purple just makes me so ridiculously happy right now.

I am currently using our old dining table as a desk, and I will use it as long as I have to. It would just make things immensely easier if I had an actual desk. For one, that room is pretty small and odd angles, so something smaller would result in fewer bashed legs. Plus, when we have company overnight, we’ll likely have to move the table out to put air mattresses down. It wouldn’t be as necessary with a desk; They’re about two feet more narrow. I’m still thinking on it.

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I’m hoping to get a lot done today in spite of my headache. I need to adjust the meal plan and write the grocery list and shopping list. I want to overhaul my goals a little. We need to go grocery shopping. The Study needs to be straightened enough that I can work in there again. We’re also still working on reorganizing the Master Closet. It would be great if I could get some crocheting in, but I don’t see me having the time to do it today.

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I guess I didn’t realize that I’m working on a lot of big goals right now. I’m trying to get into school, get a job, learn an entire second language, etc. I’m studying a religious book and trying to learn how to cook, write meal plans and grocery and shopping lists. I’m trying to start and stay on an exercise plan, and get my mouth fixed. (I still have three cavities and three onlays to get done.) It’s no wonder I’m feeling so overwhelmed.

Friday 29 February 2008

I didn’t make it very far through the day yesterday. I went to sleep at one in the afternoon. The difference from usual is that I got out of bed at five. I was still tired, but I didn’t feel ill due to it. I think the biggest consequence is that I woke up twenty five minutes ago, at three in the morning, as opposed to my desired time, six.

I know my body by now, I think. If I go back to sleep now, I’ll wake up feeling worse than I do at the moment (headache and indigestion), which isn’t really all that bad. The worst part of any of it is that I can’t start a load of laundry for another hour and a half – five a.m. We still have a little backlog from Robert being sick and my birth control haze, though I’m happy to say that in two days I’ve knocked it down significantly. Here’s hoping I can finish today.

I think I’m coming back around to the living again, or should I say finally? I know the birth control is partially to blame, but I don’t know if that’s the entire reason I’ve been in a stupor. I’m just glad I can think clearly at the moment, if nothing else.

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There’s still a lot to do around here, but I’m out of the fog enough to be able to figure out what it is. I feel better (mentally and physically) than I have for about three weeks now. I’m hoping my motivation has recovered as well as my thought process.

Speaking of though process, Robert made me an appointment for this coming Wednesday to get my birth control switched. Continuing with appointments, he also made one for me for Monday to deal with the tooth that’s bothering me.

My biggest priority is laundry. It’s holding up a goal of mine, to completely reorganize the Master Closet. It’s the first goal in a line of many to clean this place up and get things functional for how we do and want things now. When we reorganize a room, we have a system. Rather, I have a system. (You knew it had to be me, anyway.)

The first step is to determine what the room will be used for. In this case, the Master Closet is a combination of Dana’s Closet, Robert’s Closet, and Linen Closet.

The second step is to remove items that don’t belong to the theme of the room, and to bring items in from other areas and rooms that do fit the theme.

Step three is to declutter the items that do belong to the theme of the room.

The fourth step is to figure out the best way to use the space we have. This means writing detailed plans for the room, but it’s not difficult. It wasn’t that long ago that I wrote about that with the Master Closet.

Step number five is to organize the items we have into the system we’ve planned. We can’t remodel, and don’t do much more than rehang shelves, so that not usually trouble for us. If we can’t make things work the way we hoped, we go back to step four.

The final step, step six, is to take that plan and write a shopping list for the room, keeping the room colors in mind. We can’t get everything we want at once, but a few dollars here and there can get a ton of smaller purchases.

The biggest problem with using my system this time is that we’re going to have to judge what is unimportant enough that we can go without it for a few years. We’re hoping to rent a town house after I get out of school, and it’s pointless to spend money on certain things if we’re planning on moving. For example, I’m going to organize my yarn items into my dresser for now instead of buying decorative storage boxes for the closet. There may not be room for them after we move.

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Finances are going to be going crazy for a while. We’re currently trying to pay off our furniture store credit card. If we can pay it off before a certain point, then we don’t have to pay a penny of interest; if we can’t, then we’ll have to pay all of the interest.

After we pay off the furniture, we’re going to start building a down payment for a car for me. We’ll only be able to get a compact (as opposed to a hybrid, which is what I want the most) due to price, but I know how to handle compacts quite well. I’m currently considering a Chevrolet Cobalt. I trust Chevrolet, and the Cobalt is mightily similar to the Cavalier I had that I loved. (That’s my brother, Wayne, in the picture.)



That’s on first glance through car models, anyway. I just don’t see how we would make it without two cars if we’re both working and I’m in school. I don’t think the poor Neon would get a break, and Robert would likely have to walk to and from work in bad weather more than once. I would just feel better if we both had cars for everything that I hope is coming. Plus, the Neon is extremely uncomfortable for me to drive.

We’re hoping to be able to get me a car during the New Years sales events at the end of this / beginning of next year.

After that, we’re looking to spend 2009 paying off the LB credit card, followed by either C or the loan with my parents. That will depend on which total is lower at the time. Whichever doesn’t get paid at the end of 2009 gets paid in the first half of 2010. During the second half of 2010, we’ll be building a moving deposit.

On a side note, we’re hoping to rent both places during November 2010. It makes it easier on the cats and we have more time to clean both places. I’m hoping to be mostly packed by the end of July that year, so that I can finish school in as much peace as possible. (Yeah, right. I know.)

I’m not planning finances for more than three years total. There’s too much difference between now and 2011 for me to know it well enough to even try to figure out what we’ll be working on. We’ll have been making payments this whole time; there may be windfalls (like tax refunds); things may change drastically. But even though we’re in a lot of debt, things are good. I am happy in this apartment, and I have been.

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Even though I woke up extremely early, I’m glad to be getting back to my normal schedule. I much prefer to be busy, and the birth control cloud kept me from doing much but reading and crocheting. I’m ready to jump back in, I think. I do love sleeping, I positively adore it, but I love having something to do just a little bit more.

I even started cycling again yesterday. I’m not letting myself push too hard to begin with. I don’t want to scare myself out of it.

I read the first chapter of “Wuthering Heights” yesterday. There are thirty three more. I may try to limit myself to one a day. After all, I have many other things I need to get done.

I’ve been working on crocheting a set in Red Heart Claret. I completed the beret, scarf, and both mittens. I still have to do the strap to finish the MP3 necklace. Then, I only have the purse left. – After that, I need to crochet an MP3 necklace in black, and then I can fool around with all the purple I want. I’m finding myself impatient at the prospect.

I’ve written myself all the way to five o’clock. No wonder I’m hungry, but my head is feeling a bit better. It must have been too full. I need Dumbledore’s pensieve sometimes.

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I learned the months in Welsh a while back, but I haven’t studied them recently. I had to look them up in my new Welsh/English dictionary. I do just love the way Welsh sounds.

January – Ionawr
February – Chwefror
March – Mawrth
April – Ebrill
May – Mai
June – Mehefin
July – Gorffennaf
August – Awst
September – Medi
October – Hydref
November – Tachwedd
December – Rhagfyr

I also looked up the days of the week.

Monday – dydd Llun
Tuesday – dydd Mawrth
Wednesday – dydd Mercher
Thursday – dydd Iau
Friday – dydd Gwener
Saturday – dydd Sadwrn
Sunday – dydd Sul

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I think I’m going to try to push myself through a large portion of the work to get into school today. It would be nice if I could open windows, but I don’t see it happening.

As scared as I am about going back to school, I’ve been wanting to go back for years now. It’s just that I only recently figured out what I want to do. Aside from becoming a vet tech and POSSIBLY becoming a veterinarian down the road, the only other thing I could see myself being is a nurse. I don’t think that would work out, though. I would probably catch every other virus that came through, if not all of them.

I also miss studying, even though I’m learning Welsh and doing religious already. I’m just very Hermione sometimes. (Dumbledore? Hermione? Maybe I need to sneak in a Harry Potter movie as well.) I did used to love school and studying, though I definitely started slacking off in high school. Yes, I’m blaming that on hormones, too.